This was one long stretch of feeling sorry for myself. I HATE when I do that.
If I look at all the reasons I want a baby, there are just as many (if not more) reasons why I don't need to have a baby. My age, my health, our financial situation...not to mention having a child with a man who doesn't want another child. That's not fair.
With the possibility of Greg changing jobs, I would be on my own a great deal of the time. It's hard enough to raise a child with two parents, but with just one?!? There's no way I'd do that to a little one.
I will focus on the positives in life, of which there are many: I have a man who loves me, the most precious stepson ever (who turns 10 TOMORROW!!!), amazing in-laws, a mama who is my best friend, a job that I love so much. Yes, we are broke...VERY broke. But I've never been well-off financially--it's not been much of an adjustment. I am happy, despite having no money.
If a child comes into my life somehow, then I will embrace the blessing. If not, I will be grateful for all the blessings I have.