My Continuing Education this Summer...

This summer has been quite educational for me so far. I have gained several important skills as a brand-new stepmother. These include:

1. The ability to distinguish the difference between Picachu, Squirtle, Charizard, and various other forms of Pokemon.

2. The ability to eyeball the amount of chocolate syrup needed for preparing the perfect glass of chocolate milk.

3. The ability to remove peanut butter stains from almost any surface known to man.

4. The ability to know the exact location of any object an 8-year-old may have lost in the house. I just "know."

5. The ability to fix any ailment with a soothing word, a kiss, and a Spiderman bandaid.

6. The ability to create ramen noodles or Kraft mac'n'cheese in record time when an 8-year-old decides (in the blink of an eye) that he will perish if he does not eat immediately (even though he said he wasn't hungry five minutes earlier).

7. The ability to distinguish between each type of fast-food chicken nuggets sold in town with my nose plugged and my eyes covered, simply because I've eaten the remnants of them all a MILLION TIMES.

8. The ability to recite the show schedule for Nickelodeon, The Cartoon Network, and Boomerang.

9. The ability to create couch-pillow forts that rival the Taj Mahal.

10. The ability to successfully color in a coloring book upside down and from the opposite angle than normal, because the little guy is coloring in the same book across the table.

These skills may not look good on a resume, but I've had a blast learning them.

OH, before I forget, I have developed one inability--namely, the inability to say "no" to a certain eight-year-old.